Paradoxical
by ariex04
Summary: AU. A girl gate-crashes a party.


Author's Note: This story is majorly AU and takes place in the changed future, just so you know. The narrator is an original character, so if you don't like them, you probably won't like my story. The Halliwells do, however, have major roles. Please review, even if you just say "I like it" or "I hate it." I'd love to hear what you think.

* * *

Paige is the one who opens the door. "Hi," she says cheerfully. Leah, looking at her, decides that Paige has a nice smile. "Are you here for the Halloween party?"

Leah nods. "Yeah."

"So who invited you?" Paige asks, shooting her another smile as Leah follows her inside. "I'm afraid I've rather lost track of my children's friends, and as for their cousins..." She shakes her head helplessly, as if to say, who can keep up?

"Prue," Leah says, hoping that this is the correct answer. She's fairly sure that most of the Halliwell kids are in their teens, and she hopes that as a thirteen-year-old, she'll be able to masquerade as friends with any of them.

Paige says, "Well, last I saw her, she was in the basement."

"Thanks," Leah says, and Paige vanishes into the crowd of people.

Leah, feeling a little overwhelmed, peers into the chaos, looking for familiar faces. It looks like the extended Halliwell family (six adults, nine children) have invited all of their friends, which adds up to a n awful lot of people. Leah doesn't recognize anyone; she is staring into a crowd of strangers.

She almost turns around and goes home. _This is stupid. What am I doing here? These people don't know me, and I don't know them._

Something stops her. _I've only seen one of them. _Leah wants to see them all; Paige she's seen, but not Piper, Phoebe, Wyatt, or the others. She wants to see Leo, too, but knows better than to expect he will be here.

She wants to meet them all, and she is going to. Even if it is foolish. Even if she might get caught and kicked out, an intruder into their perfect world. Even if they won't remember her in a week. Because Leah will remember, and that is what matters.

She pushes through the people, mumbling "excuse me," looking for the basement. It is a place to start, after all.

Her hand brushes against the banister of the main staircase. Premonition.

_-a potion explodes-_

"_-don't want to see you anymore-"_

"_-a paradox-"_

_-a page torn from the Book of Shadows-_

"_-lies-"_

"_-over now-"_

"_-I'll stop you-"_

_-dark orbs-_

"_-Chris-"_

Leah gasps for breath, coming out of the visions. Her sight is swarming with colorful dots, she can't hear, her head is spinning...

She sits down abruptly on the bottom stair and puts her head between her knees. Common sense doesn't reassert itself until Leah no longer feels like she's going to faint; she jerks upright, fast, and looks around, praying that nobody noticed her behavior. After all, she can't exactly tell anyone non-magical that she just had a premonition, nothing to worry about.

Leah hopes that nobody noticed; she is out of luck.

"Are you okay?" the woman who comes over to her asks.

Then again, maybe she's extremely lucky, because Phoebe Halliwell is the one who comes to talk to her.

"Yeah." _No. I'm scared, and I don't understand what I saw, and I hate this power- _"I'm fine." _And I wish I didn't have to keep lying. _But Leah is too afraid of the alternative to tell the truth.

"Premonition?" Phoebe asks, sitting next to her.

Leah looks at her with a bit of surprise.

Phoebe says, "I know the signs," correctly interpreting Leah's expression. "But I don't usually see such an extreme reaction from it- you looked like you were going to pass out."

Leah shrugs, staring at the floor. "I just got it recently, and I..."

"Feel overwhelmed?" Phoebe guesses. Leah nods silently.

"That happens pretty often with new powers," Phoebe says. "Especially the dangerous or difficult to control ones, and premonition is impossible to control."

Leah looks up at her, hopeful. "So it's not just me? I'm not... doing anything wrong? It's okay that I don't always understand what I see?" _I certainly don't understand this one._

Phoebe frowns at her, the expression on her face changing to something Leah can't read. "No, you're not doing anything wrong. At least as far as I can tell. Premonition isn't a power that you can really use- it uses you. If you can control it, you're probably using spells or potions, and basically abusing your power. Premonitions show you what you need to know. They happen for a reason, and that reason probably has nothing to do with what you've been doing. As for understanding it, I wouldn't worry about it. You'll understand it when you need to. Hasn't anyone talked to you about this?"

Leah refuses to meet her eyes. "I live with my aunt. She doesn't like magic."

"Do you have a whitelighter?"

Leah shakes her head silently.

Phoebe says, "Well, you need one. Have you just been trying to figure things out on your own? Sweetie, you shouldn't have to, you need someone to teach you how to cast spells and make potions-"

Leah cuts her off sharply."I know that stuff. My dad taught me before he died. I only started getting premonitions recently, though. That's why I don't know how it works." The defensiveness takes both of them by surprise. Leah looks at Phoebe, chin up defiantly. "I just need someone to explain them to me, and then I'll be fine. I don't need help."

Leah is suddenly reminded of a fight between her parents years ago, when they were still together, and not divorced or dead.

"_You can't solve everything yourself! Why won't you let me help you?"_

For the first time, she wonders if maybe she got her self-sufficiency from her dad.

Phoebe is speaking again, though, and there's no time to dwell on this. "Well, the only real way to control premonitions is to control what you touch. So if you want to get a premonition about, say, a demon, you should touch books about them, things at places they've been, anything that's come into contact with them, pretty much."

Leah nods, listening. Now that she knows premonitions can't be controlled, she thinks she can figure the rest out on her own, but she'll let Phoebe explain anyway.

"I've found that premonitions tend to-"

"Mom?"

Phoebe and Leah twist around, looking at the girl who has just come down the stairs.

"Vicki?" Phoebe asks. "What's up?"

Vicki, who Leah thinks is probably nine or ten, fidgets and says, "Um, I have this problem... can I demonstrate something for you, Mom? Upstairs?"

"A demonic problem?" Phoebe asks. "It's okay, she's a witch," she adds after seeing Vicki's glance at Leah.

"Yeah. There's a demon outside the house. It can't get through the wards, but I think it's gonna attack the next thing that _leaves _the wards, so..."

"So we have a problem," Phoebe summarizes. "Especially if someone leaves early. All right, I'll warn Piper... hang on just a moment," she tells Leah, and leaves.

Vicki looks at Leah curiously, and Leah looks back.

"I'm Vicki," she informs Leah. "Who're you?"

"I'm Leah."

"Hi. You're a witch?"

"Yeah. Are you?" Leah asks, just to say something.

"'Course. What are your powers? I can freeze time."

"I levitate and get premonitions," Leah says.

"Cool. My mom has both of those powers," Vicki informs her.

Leah blinks, rather surprised. She knew that Phoebe got premonitions, but she didn't know about her ability to levitate.

"Okay," Phoebe says as she returns, "Piper will keep an eye on the door, make sure nobody leaves... Here's my phone number," she adds, handing Leah a piece of paper with her phone number scribbled on it in blue ink. "Call me if you need help or more explanations, okay?"

Leah nods and says "Thanks you," even though she knows she'll never call the number.

Phoebe smiles at her and turns back to Vicki, saying, "Okay, let's vanquish the demon... did you find it in the Book? Why did it come after us, anyway?"

Vicki fidgets a little. "Well..."

Phoebe raises her eyebrows. Leah, like Phoebe, recognizes the signs of guilt, and wonders if Vicki summoned the demon. _It's none of my business, though._

Vicki and Phoebe vanish upstairs, and Leah gets up and starts to walk around again. She supposes that Piper must be near the front door now, and decides to go find her. Nobody's there, though, so Leah turns around. She catches sight of Vicki, coming down the stairs.

Leah calls, "Hey, Vicki," and hurries to catch up with her.

Vicki waits for her. "What?" she asks.

"Um, can you tell me where the basement is? I've never been here before..."

"Sure," Vicki says. "It's over here."

As Leah follows Vicki, weaving their way through the many people, Vicki turns and asks abruptly, "So are you Henry's friend, then?"

"Yeah," Leah lies, wondering how on earth Vicki came to _that_ conclusion.

Vicki nods, seemingly satisfied with her answer. Leah follows her into what must be the kitchen. Vicki goes straight to the door that Leah now realizes leads to the basement. _No wonder I couldn't find it. Who would think to look all the way over here?_

Leah follows Vicki into the basement, which she now realizes was Vicki's destination all along.

The basement is an interesting place; half of it seems like the conventional basement with boxes and dust, and the rest of it looks like a family room, complete with rugs, a couple of couches, and comfy chairs. Kids take up all available space here. Several are playing games, and others are just talking.

Vicki goes straight for the dark-haired teenager playing a driving game on the TV. "Penny, Mom wants you in the attic."

"Vicki, look what you did! You made me fall off a cliff!"

"Mom told me to get you and Charlotte," Vicki persists.

Another girl, this one playing monopoly, turns to look at Vicki and says, "Wait, what? Why?"

"Um... she sorta found out about the _thing_, you know, the thing that happened this morning..."

Penny whips around, driving game completely forgotten. "What! You_ told_ her? Vicki!"

"I had to! It's hanging around outside of the manor!"

The other girl- Leah thinks that she must be Charlotte- grabs Vicki and Penny, dragging them off to the side. "Keep your voices down," she whispers. "The demon's outside? Now?"

"Yes!" Vicki hisses.

Penny groans. "Mom's gonna kill me..."

Charlotte says, "Look, she'll be even madder if we keep her waiting, so let's go, okay?"

Phoebe's daughters pass Leah on their way upstairs. Leah is still standing awkwardly at the foot of the stairs, uncertain what to do now.

"You look a little lost."

Leah turns around.

A blond teenager stands behind her. He looks like he's several years older than Leah. She finds this a little intimidating, but he's smiling at her and seems friendly, so Leah smiles back.

"Uh, yeah," she admits. "It's just that I don't really know anyone..."

"That's okay. Most of the people here don't know each other. I'm Wyatt, by the way."

Leah almost says, _I know, _but manages to stop herself in time. "I'm Leah."

As they sit down on the couch that Penny recently vacated, Wyatt says, "So are our parents friends, then? If you don't know any of the other kids?"

"Yeah, my dad's friends with them," Leah says, grateful for the excuse. _It's mostly true, too._

Wyatt says, "Well, I don't know everyone here, but if you want, I can at least introduce you to the Halliwells."

"That would be great," Leah said with relief. _I might be able to meet everyone and get home before Aunt Kate realizes I sneaked out. _

"Well, Paige is over there- she's the one playing battleship, with the pink shirt- and that's Henry, making out with his girlfriend over there. Get a room, you two!" Wyatt shouts. The boy makes a rude gesture at him, but otherwise ignores him.

Leah frowns. "Henry and Paige? Aren't those their parents' names?"

"Yeah. Uncle Henry and Aunt Paige named their oldest son and daughter after themselves. Personally, I think it just makes things more confusing, but it's not like they can do anything about it now."

Leah nods her understanding, looking around curiously. "Anyone else I should know?"

"Hm. I don't see any of the others, no. If they show up, I'll introduce you."

"Hey, Wy, I bet you can't beat me in a race," a boy calls, throwing a remote at Wyatt's head.

Wyatt catches it easily and glances at Leah. "Wanna play?"

"Sure."

So they do. Leah is awful at it. She drives off cliffs and into walls, coming in last every time. She is introduced to Paige's youngest daughter when she comes downstairs, and loses to her as well.

She has the most fun she's had in days.

Finally, Piper's husband sticks his head through the basement door and announces that food will be ready in five minutes.

Leah feels a stab of anxiety; she'd planned to be gone by now. _But I haven't seen them all yet! I haven't met Piper or Wyatt's younger siblings!_

Then, as if an answer to her panicked thoughts, two girls come down the stairs.

One girl says to Wyatt, "Hey, can me and Prue race?"

"Sure," Wyatt says. "Oh, by the way, Leah, these are my sisters, Prue and Mel. Well, half-sisters, but that doesn't mean anything."

"Hi," Leah says.

"Hey."

"Hi, Leah."

"And now," Wyatt continued, "You've met all nine of the younger generation of Halliwells."

"Thanks for showing me around," Leah says.

Just then, dinner is announced, and Leah takes advantage of the mass exodus to escape. She just has to find Piper, and then she can leave.

Leah searches through as many rooms as she can. It's only when she gives up and heads for the door that she finds Piper.

Piper looks at her as Leah walks into the entryway and says, "Are you leaving? Because, well-"

"Is the demon still out there?" Leah asks, careful to keep her voice down.

Piper says with relief, "Oh, you know about that already? Good. Yes, it is still out there, but Phoebe and Paige are vanquishing it right now- they should be done any minute. How'd you like the party?"

"It was fun," Leah says honestly.

"Who invited you?"

Why does everyone have to ask her this?

"Charlotte," Leah says. Charlotte seems about her age.

Piper nods.

"But I think you maybe know my dad?" Leah's mouth acts without her consent, blabbing the real reason she's here.

Piper turns to look at her, really paying attention for the first time. "Oh? What's his name?"

"Chris Perry." Leah's heart is pounding, her palms are sweating, and she wishes she'd just kept quiet, but it's too late to back out now.

The expression on Piper's face freezes. Leah waits.

"Yes, I knew someone named Chris Perry once," Piper acknowledges. She stares at Leah, and Leah stares back. Neither say anything as Paige and Phoebe come inside.

There are a thousand things Leah wants to say.

_My dad's dead. He died a couple of years ago. Did you know that?_

_He erased his existence. Only he didn't disappear, because that would have caused a paradox. The grown-up him kept existing, even though there wasn't a younger him. He gave up everything for you- don't you care?_

_What was he like?_

_Why don't you like him?_

But most of all, Leah Perry wants to shout, _I'm a Halliwell! I'm your family! Can't you see? I'm one of you!_

"Thank you for inviting me," Leah says politely, and walks out the door, away from the home that might have been hers.

After all, what's the point of dwelling on what might have been?


End file.
